Your wedding vows are one of the most powerful and emotional parts of your ceremony—a rare moment where you get to speak directly from your heart. But putting your love into words isn’t always easy. Whether you’re writing your vows from scratch or adding personal flair to traditional ones, this guide will help you craft vows that are meaningful, memorable, and totally you.
1. Start With a Traditional Framework
Using a traditional vow structure can give you a helpful starting point, especially if you’re feeling stuck. Think of it like scaffolding—something to build on. You can borrow familiar phrasing and blend it with your own tone and style.
💡 Check out these 17 examples of modernized wedding vows from Brides, ranging from classic to humorous.
2. Reflect on Your Relationship Story
Before writing, take time to reflect on your relationship:
How did you meet?
What milestones have you shared?
What do you admire most about your partner?
What funny or emotional memories define your journey?
📝 Use this free wedding vow template and guide from Green Wedding Shoes. It includes thoughtful prompts and a printable worksheet to get your creativity flowing.
3. Include Specific and Personal Promises
Great vows go beyond generalities. Make your promises specific and unique to your relationship. Think of the small, sacred rhythms of your daily life, and the dreams you share.
Examples:
“I promise to always choose you—on the hard days, on the ordinary days, and on the days when love feels effortless. You’ll never have to wonder where my heart stands.”
“I vow to be your safe place—to hold space for your tears, your dreams, your doubts, and your deepest joys, no matter what life throws our way.”
“I promise to grow with you, not just alongside you—to keep learning who you are and loving you deeper through every season and change.”
🎤 Need inspiration? Browse this vow-writing guide from Brides with helpful tips and real couple examples.
4. Don’t Be Afraid to Add Humor or Quirks
Your vows don’t have to be overly serious. If your relationship is built on joy and laughter, let that show! A well-timed joke or an inside reference can make the moment even more touching.
Examples:
“I vow to always let you control the thermostat—even though I’m cold 90% of the time.”
“I promise to watch The Office with you for the 7th time, even if I still quote every episode.”
📚 Looking for inspiration? Read this article on funny wedding vow ideas that blend laughter and love.
5. Keep It Short and Intentional
While it’s tempting to write a whole love letter, aim for a length of about 1–2 minutes when spoken aloud. This ensures your vows are heartfelt without losing impact or momentum.
✍️ Pro Tip: Use a vow booklet (like these on Etsy) so you don’t have to rely on memory. Plus, they make great keepsakes!
6. Practice Reading Out Loud
Once you’ve written your vows, read them aloud—several times. Practicing helps you find the rhythm, catch awkward phrasing, and feel more confident on the big day.
🎥 This vow rehearsal tutorial shares tips on how to stay calm and authentic when reading your vows aloud.
7. Decide: Public or Private?
If your vows feel deeply emotional or vulnerable, consider saving the full version for a private moment—like during a first look or letter exchange. You can still read meaningful vows during the ceremony while keeping your most personal words just between the two of you.
💌 Check out this real-life example of a private vow exchange that created a meaningful and unforgettable moment outside of the ceremony.
8. Use Vow Writing Tools and Generators
If the blank page feels too intimidating, start with a vow generator or structured tool. These can spark ideas or give you a first draft to personalize.
💻 Try these trusted tools:
Final Thoughts
Writing your vows is one of the most meaningful things you'll do as a couple. It’s your chance to speak honestly, lovingly, and intentionally about the journey you’re on together. Don't worry about being poetic—just be true. Whether your vows make your guests laugh or cry (or both!), they’ll be remembered because they reflect your one-of-a-kind love story.